Fear and Self Loathing in South Korea

It has been an interesting week here in SoKo (that might be what I'll call it from now on...maybe) filled with many new experiences. And I will tell you about them...in another post. I started writing and this ended up being a much longer rant than I intended. Just know that there will be tales of the beach, (legitimate) massages, trains, Seoul, Chuseok (that's a holiday), a Jimjilbang, and whatever else I can think of. But for now, it's time for me to wax thoughtful/contemplative and explain the title. Yes, it came from the movie. No, I don't have a suitcase with a galaxy full of all sorts of uppers, downers, screamers, or laughers. What I'm referring to is feelings of disdain and contempt towards foreigners (read : white people, especially Americans) ( and yes, that's a very sweeping generalization, there are some exceptions) here in South Korea, sometimes even myself. Part of it is me wanting to be the only white person here, a modern day Admiral Parry. In the same way that you hate when other people find out about your personal place that you thought was your private secret- a restaurant, a lake, whatever- that's how I find myself feeling, as if they are interrupting my experience. I came here to experience Korean culture, to see a fresh perspective, experience a previously unseen(by me) part of the world, and to make Korean friends, not see a bunch of d-bags in hemp necklaces and cargo pants talking about which bar is the best. They are loud, obtrusive, they lack fashion sense, they are an eye-sore, they lack any sense of grace in social settings, and it annoys me when they flirt with the locals, although I will be the first to admit that I am guilty of all of these same sins. I'll also admit that these judgments are pretty unfair. But it is what it is, you feel what you feel, regardless of logic. I know I'm not the first to come here, I won't be the last, and they probably say the exact same things about me. I wish I could change that, I wish I was fluent in Korean, and had the cash to dress myself in the height of Korean fashion, and I wish I knew enough about Korean culture to be gifted with social graces here...but sadly, that is not the case.

An illustration: At the hostel Alvin and I are staying at (which is pretty nice by the way, if you ever make it to Seoul, you should check it out) there are roughly ten other guests. I cut them some more slack, because you should expect to see tourists here, but irregardless, I have no desire to befriend them, or ask them about their experiences. They're by no means cool looking people that I would otherwise befriend. That's another part of it, foreigners usually look like pretty lame people that I wouldn't talk to back in the states anyways. And you may say, "yeah, but adam, what about the girls? surely you miss seeing white girls?" Nope, and definitely not these girls. If I was looking for white girls, I'd do it back in the Old Country. That's not what I'm missing though. To be honest, I think Korean girls are way cuter. One in particular. But that's another story, and once again, I digress. I'm sitting on the floor typing this amidst the others, and the only person I want to talk to is the Korean maid/cook who is having breakfast with us. She runs everywhere, has hit her head on the counter two times, and closes every door behind her. It's sort of amusing. Maybe some of this is me being slightly angry at the fat one who kept wrinkling a bag of chips last night as I was trying to sleep. I don't know. There is a Swiss couple here, and they are the exception. They have good style...and that's the only solid thing I can base my judgment on, but they get a pass.

Don't get me wrong. This makes me sound a little mean and hateful, but that's not the case. I have no problem with talking to new people and making friends. I'm just saying what I've been feeling. Also, I'm not the only one. I've actually been told that this is a pretty common feeling among foreigners, for the reasons mentioned above, but also, it can be very hard to make friends here. People are always coming and going, so relationships stay very shallow. Nobody wants to get too close because they know they will have to say goodbye soon anyway...not unlike a zombie apocalypse.

On the train out here, I found myself listening to a lot of Lynyrd Skynyrd, which I had almost forgotten how awesome they are. I'm not talking about "Free Bird" or "Sweet Home Alabama." "Tuesday's Gone" and "Simple Man" are definately some of the best songs ever written. Let this post stand as official and legally binding that when I die, at my funeral I would like one of those two songs played, and then during I give permission for my friends and family to crack open a PBR in my honor, and of course pour out the first sip in memory of your humble narrator.

Next post there will be pics, trust.

Now Listening To:
"We're Getting A Divorce, You Keep the Diner"
By: The Gaslight Anthem